Cheapskate Wisdom from … Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

By Brad Tuttle | @bradrtuttle | August 24, 2010 | +

“Rabbis should be thundering from the pulpit that extravagant weddings are not only a betrayal of a sense of personal inadequacy, but are an abrogation of Jewish values. You’re so rich? Then impress your friends by giving the money to charity.”

Read more of Boteach calling out glitzy, over-the-top weddings and Bar and Bat Mitzvahs as “embarrassing” and “ridiculous” exercises that give kids “a shallow external identity based on money and objects” at the Huffington Post. Here’s another zinger:

Keeping up with the Schwartz’s has become a cancer that threatens to kill off the flickering Jewish soul. How ironic that a people who have for centuries survived forced baptisms are now drowning in an ocean of profligacy.

Related Topics: Bar Mitzvah, cheapskate wisdom, families & children, Shmuley Boteach, weddings

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  • buffiesguy

    The Rabbi makes a sound statement, though I cannot speak to the “Jewishness” of it.

    In my opinion, weddings and funerals are two of the greatest wastes of money in our society. Weddings? A giant, unaffordable party for a bunch of so-called “friends.” Interesting how many people call so many people “friends,” not really applying a pure definition of the term friend. Most people are fortunate to have 2 or 3 “friends” in their whole lives, though they may have many, many aquaintences.

    Funerals? A ceremony strictly for the survivors. When one says “She loved petunias, so we have to have petunias” or “He loved fly fishing, so we have to bury him with his favorite fishing rod,” it has nothing to do with the deceased – they’re dead! Rather, it’s for the survivors. Same with a casket or urn – who cares what it looks like? The occupant is dead!

    Yes, Rabbi – perhaps for different reasons, you and I see eye-to-eye. 5 and 6-digit weddings and funerals are a pitiful waste of resources that could othewise do some good for the living. Perhaps an endowment, a trust, a monument with a socially-meaningful message?

  • squarf

    The Kwakiutl Indians used to have an annual event in which whoever could throw the largest amount of wealth into a fire was the hero of the year.

    Rabbis come at things from different angles:

    “How can I eat and enjoy this bagel and cream cheese when people are starving?”

    “Eat, bubby. It takes strength to worry.”

    As for the wealth being destroyed in a bonfire of the vanities (a/k/a Schnorrer Village), nishkaferlich in light of what the Mrs. spends on beauty treatments and clothes, especially shoes… and don’t even mention plastic surgery. And does daddy really need a vulgar gold Rolex that is so garish that he can be mistaken for a saxaphone player?

    The hilarity of it all redeems everything about it. A 13 year old Bar Mitzva boy is tortured into being able to parrot (not understand, mind you) assorted inscrutable nonsense, after which he is declared to be a man. If Jew were Christians someone would bellow “Lo and behold!”; but Jews are not Christians, so everybody loads up on chopped chicken liver.

    It’s an hilarious michia!

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