Talk about a million-dollar body: In a new poll, nearly one-quarter (22%) of Americans say they would rather have their dream body for the rest of their lives than win $1 million in the lottery.
The finalists for a wacky (a.k.a. stupid, unnecessary, pointless) warning labels contest include a dust mask that “does not supply oxygen” and a pen that advises against shoving the cap down one’s throat. Why? In case you weren’t already aware that “pen caps can obstruct breathing.”
“Does it make more sense economically to screen a movie to a half-empty theater if everyone pays $10, or to a full theater if everyone pays $5?”
Hey, if the Bronx Zoo’s escaped cobra can Tweet, then why not a figment of some Intuit software writer’s imagination whose sole purpose in (fake) life is to post rave online reviews of contractors that worked on the 50 homes he owns.
“Ticketmaster is looking to cut out the scalpers by scalping its own tickets.”
“The last thing I remember is getting a second tray of two-for-one mug-a-ritas with the guys from work … Next thing I know, I’m coming to on my couch, I’m nauseous, my head’s pounding, and I’m fully vested in a Roth IRA that’s completely deductible and contains a diverse spread of steady dividend-paying stocks with [...]
Here’s a research finding that the people running Vegas casinos seem to have known all along: When it comes to evaluating the risks of winning or losing money, sleep-deprived individuals tend to be more optimistic than their well-rested counterparts. No wonder casinos are open 24/7, no one ever knows what time it is, and the [...]
“Special microchip makes it obsolete 50% faster.”
“You pay $50 per month for Internet at home, $30 per month for Internet on your phone, and, now, $30 for Internet on your tablet. You pay for the same exact thing three different times. As more and more devices become connected, some company is going to have to step-up and address this current reality.”
“To my friends I say this: ‘OK, you guys win, but who saved more money?’ And the answer is really they did because of all the energy and work. But still …”
The trick, which is probably much easier than getting a scholarship, is convincing someone to marry you.
